Only In Dreams
by ConfusedColumbia26220
Summary: Emma and Regina have True Love, but when Greg and Tamara torture Regina, she dies. However, the True Love connection keeps Regina around. The catch is that only Emma can see her, and only when she's dreaming. Can their relationship survive with such limited contact?
1. Chapter 1

Ever since that man had chosen to identify himself, the questions about the location of his father were never ending. Regina had always evaded, never giving the satisfaction of an answer, and really, the answer truly wouldn't be satisfactory anyway. In some twisted form of compassion Regina still felt the man who had been a child so long ago, one that she cared about and had wanted to take in as her own, years before Henry, Regina thought that by not answering she was doing him a favor. He didn't want to know the true fate of his father, not really. Apparently he didn't agree in the favor department, as he and his pretty little back up had kidnapped her and stashed her in the cannery. Now, she was hooked up in more places than she could count to a machine that produced a torture unlike anything the Evil Queen could've concocted at her most foul and aggressive in the Enchanted Forest. Granted, such technology hadn't been available to her, but the pain it brought was what she was sure the equivalent of being struck by lightning a thousand times in a row was. Still, she refused to answer. As long as he wanted something from her, she'd be kept alive. Stalling was what it was; Regina knew Emma at the very least would be looking for her. And with her handy skills in finding people, she was sure it wouldn't take her horribly long. As soon as she lost that leverage, as soon as she were to speak in a moment of weakness, she'd be dead. She had no doubt in her mind that she wasn't being given the full capacity of the machine. Crank it up all the way and she'd be fried in a second.

No, she wouldn't answer even if her insides boiled. She had to wait until Emma found her, and then she'd deal with the rest of the consequences. They both would, together. It was what they did. Regina changed for Henry and for Emma and she'd be damned if all that change was for nothing.

"Where…is…my…father?" Greg spaces the question out, each word punctuated with increasing rage.

Regina clamped her mouth shut and just a second later her body seized once again, absorbing the shocks that were being sent through. It was impossible not to scream, but at least while screaming she was unable to form coherent words. When those screams of pain escaped, she couldn't answer him even if she wanted to. Which she didn't.

Her safe haven, even in pain, was Emma, and Henry. The thought that she'd be found and would be able to return to them relatively soon was what kept her going. An average body would have given up at this point, but Regina Mills had never been what you'd call average. She was magical, dark magic or not, and she shared the most powerful connection with a person anyone could have. Not only did she have True Love, she had it with the woman that was the product of True Love, which made it twice as powerful. She knew that because if one party didn't want it, basic True Love could be avoided if an active effort was made. And Regina had tried her damned hardest not to fall for Emma Swan, also once the curse had broke, she knew Emma had tried her damned hardest not to fall in love with the Evil Queen, former or not. Both tried, quite actively, to avoid being connected in such a way. It had been bad enough that they shared a son in Henry, they hadn't needed the extra complications. But True Love had made magnets out of them, and they were helplessly drawn to each other. So much so that their love became more epic than that of Snow White and Charming in time, which is something that Regina never in a billion years would have expected to experience personally. Regina had believed the pull of True Love to be a fluke in her case, but the fact that her True Love was the Savior, the White Knight of all people was hard to file as a coincidence. Their love surpassing that of the two who literally crossed worlds for each other time and time again was nothing short of a rarity the likes of a supernova.

Emma Swan and Regina Mills were two people that were never, ever supposed to meet and much less to fall in love. Technically, Regina looked the same age since 1983 when Emma was born, but where Emma aged Regina simply grew old in the same repeating day until Henry brought Emma into Storybrooke. If the curse hadn't been cast, Regina would likely be dead by 2011. The Enchanted Forest didn't have many of the luxuries life in Storybrooke provided. If not for the curse, most of the Storybrooke residents would also be dead, and Henry wouldn't be in existence. The three of them were never supposed to become a family unit. But sometimes, anomalies happen and so they became the biggest anomaly of all.

Regina had been destined for greatness indeed, although it was nothing like her mother had intended. Yes, Regina had been Queen, but the power of True Love with this intensity, Queendom may as well be the ant one burns with a magnifying glass in comparison.

"This is the end of you, Regina! You will never be able to hurt anyone ever again!"

Regina would have snorted at the absurdity of the source of that statement, if her body hadn't started to seize again. She thought it odd that she didn't hear herself scream this time, but she credited that to the fact that with all the screaming she'd done already, her voice was shot.

Shortly, Emma burst into the room. There were others with her, of course, David, Neal, and Mary Margaret, but they scattered to take down Greg and Tamara, leaving Emma alone to tend to Regina. How they managed to get those pains in the asses to abandon their torture technique, Emma wasn't sure, but she was immensely glad for it. Regina needed some serious help.

Emma fought to keep clear vision, but it proved to be impossible as she set to work disconnecting Regina from that horrible torture device. She just wanted to get her out of here. The poor woman had endured far too much already. Her heart ached for her and she had to make do with working through blurry vision. The tears began to fall when Regina remained unconscious even when the last of the electrodes had been removed. "Regina…" Emma cupped her cheek and gasped when she felt skin that was hot to the touch, as if she had a high fever. "Come on, baby, wake up. We've gotta get you home." She stroked her cheek with her thumb for a few moments as she thought and waited. Finally, she decided to press a kiss to her incredibly chapped lips. Nothing. She pulled back, hardly able to see Regina's form due to her overflow of tears. She felt her lower lip begin to quiver. "Damn it, you're scaring me!" It was a hissed whisper, the lump in her throat was growing too hard to speak over. Her hands went to her shoulders, giving her a firm shake.

Regina felt it, coming to once more. "Emma," she murmured. She struggled to sit up and when she did she threw her arms around her, not wanting her to be upset. She felt her, warm and solid, but the embrace wasn't returned.

More confusing, Emma was still trying to wake her up. "Regina, wake up!" her voice sounded more frantic, revealing a tone of fear that she shouldn't be feeling at this point.

"I'm right here." Regina drew back and cupped Emma's cheeks in her hands. "I'm right here, Emma!" She looked into her eyes but felt the eeriest sensation of being looked through rather than looked at. It was as if Emma truly couldn't see her even though she was right in front of her.

Suddenly, Emma collapsed right onto Regina's chest and Regina couldn't have felt more relieved. "Regina…"

Regina wrapped her arms around her again. "Sssh, it's okay." She stroked those long blonde locks. "It's okay."

"…Why? Regina, why did you leave me? Why did you leave us? Why?!"

"Emma, I haven't left you," Regina insisted as she held her tight. "I haven't gone anywhere." She got an odd feeling again. It was like Emma wasn't hearing her even though she was right there in her arms.

A few minutes later Emma sniffled and got back to her feet. "What am I going to tell Henry?" she asked brokenly.

"You don't need to tell him anything." But she was speaking to empty air. Emma had spun on her heel and fled from the room.

Regina stood up to go chase after her and her composure cracked. Worry bubbled up and she ran a hand through her hair, her head turning to the side. She froze and her eyes went wide. She was still on the table, even though she was standing just next to it. Her mouth fell open and closed, silently babbling.

Everything clicked into place. Regina Mills was dead.


	2. Chapter 2

It was extremely confusing for Regina to realize she was dead. She didn't feel any different, everything was the same except for the fact she was apparently invisible. None of the common death clichés happened. There was no blinding white lights, no life flashing before her eyes, no judge of all creation to send her through pearly gates or a pit of fiery despair. It was simply as if when she stood up, she shed her skin or duplicated herself, like having a twin that was literally the opposite of her, dead and visible while she was very much alive and invisible. She wasn't a ghost, she couldn't float through walls, and her touch was solid. She had felt Emma after all, held her, even though the blonde herself couldn't feel it. She wasn't transparent, she was very much solid. If someone tried to walk through her they wouldn't be able to, they'd simply be flush against her without realizing it. Just as Emma had been.

Emma. She needed to find her. Even if it was clear she wouldn't be able to comfort her, she could make sure she was safe and wouldn't do anything stupid. She was probably long gone from the cannery given how fast she ran, but Regina would catch up. She knew where she'd be going.

She wasn't prepared for the heartbreaking scene that greeted her.

"Did you find her?" It was Henry, all bright eyed and hopeful.

"Yes." It was a singular word, but Emma's voice broke all the same.

"What's wrong?" His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion and concern.

Regina watched as Emma turned her gaze to the ground and wished more than anything she could stop this from happening. Emma had fallen apart as a grown woman, how was an eleven year old boy going to handle it? Not well, Regina imagined.

"I'm sorry, Henry," Emma whispered.

"Why? What happened?"

Emma took in a deep breath and straightened up, squaring her shoulders and schooling her face into perfect composure in a way that reminded Regina of herself. She stepped closer to where Henry sat in his seat with currently abandoned cereal sitting in front of him, despite it being in the middle of the day. Henry never did care for the proper timing to have his cereal. Emma crouched down so she was looking up at him and took his hands gently in her own, as if that would provide comfort for what she was about to say. "We were too late." Regina could see the tears swimming in her eyes but she kept them at bay.

"What do you mean?" Henry asked nervously.

"When we got there she was…she was already gone."

"Gone? Where'd she go?"

Regina's heart broke at his childish ignorance. Emma was trying to break it to him as gently as possible and he wasn't picking up on it. Or maybe it was denial. It pained her to see Emma close her eyes for a long moment, then open them with tears close to spilling over.

"Someplace where we can never bring her back."

A light bulb seemed to go off in Henry's head. "What are you saying?" he demanded in a panic. "That – That she's dead?"

Emma's resolve fell then, she could no longer keep her tears at bay when she heard Regina's fate spoken aloud. It made it real, permanent. There was no going back.

Seeing his mother, his birth mother, cry was confirmation enough. Soon Henry's eyes filled with tears as well. "But she's my mom," it was said with such conviction as if it meant death couldn't claim her because it didn't have the right.

A single tear rolled down Regina's cheek. It wasn't fair to Henry at all. He'd had faith that she would be brought home to him. Swallowing a sob, she walked over to the chair and placed a lingering kiss to the top of his head, even though she knew he couldn't feel it. "I'm so sorry. I never wanted to leave you." She looked towards the blonde. "But you have Emma now." She knew that didn't make anything better. The only thing that would make it better was if she were truly, one hundred percent alive, so that they would be able to see and hear her, feel her and know she was with them.

"I know," Emma replied to Henry in a broken, choked voice as she curled in on herself.

Regina bit her lip, wanting to help Emma up and tuck her into bed, but she couldn't do that. She turned away. She couldn't watch this anymore, hear it anymore, but she couldn't leave. This was her fault, all of it. She hadn't meant to, but she'd left them all the same. The two most important people in her world wouldn't be broken and in tears if not for her.

She only got as far as the living room couch when she walked away. This was still her home and if this was the afterlife's form of punishment, she'd gladly accept it. Because being able to still see and hold them was better than being able to do nothing at all. They were her family, and even though they couldn't recognize the efforts anymore, Regina would still do her best to hold them together.

As the day went on, the atmosphere of the house became dark and sorrowful. Regina watched as Henry read the stories in his book over and over again, the ones that mentioned her. It told her he was going everything he could to hold onto her memory, and that he finally accepted her as a whole. He accepted her past as well as the person she'd become. If only he could see how proud she was of him in that moment.

When night fell, Emma curled up on Regina's side of the bed, all snuggled up to the satin nightgown Regina had worn the most because it still smelled like her. It was absolutely heartbreaking. Emma, too, was doing everything to hold onto her memory. Regina stayed in the room, watching over her like a guardian angel. She guessed in a way that's what she was. She was grateful that when the blonde finally fell asleep, she looked completely at peace.

The sleep didn't seem to last. After a few minutes, Emma was awake again. But this time when her eyes fell on Regina, she was looking right at her.

"Regina?"

Regina was cautious, just in case Emma was actually hallucinating. She took a step forward, only one. "You can see me?"

"You're…You're not really here." A pained look took over Emma's face. "Of course my brain would fuck me over and make me dream about you." She squeezed her eyes shut tight but snapped them open again when she felt a gentle hand on her arm. Her eyes widened as she looked at the contact and raised them to look into Regina's face. "I can't feel you," she stated in awe.

"Oh Emma…" All day Regina had been tortured with seeing everything and not being seen, but now it suddenly seemed Emma could see her.

Emma sat up and threw her arms around her, desperate to have her close again, even if it wasn't real. "I lost you," she choked out.

"I know." She stroked Emma's hair. "I know. But I'm here, I've been here, you just couldn't see me until now."

"Did it hurt?" Emma lifted her head and searched her eyes.

"I didn't know it even happened," Regina answered honestly. "Not until I saw myself. I feel exactly the same; I can do everything I could do before, only…no one notices."

Emma cupped her cheeks, stroking her cheeks with her thumbs. "Why didn't you wake up when I kissed you?" she asked mournfully.

"It wasn't a spell," Regina's voice cracked when she answered. "It wasn't magic."

"I still need you. Henry still needs you."

"I know, I do. And I'm here."

"Why couldn't I see you before?"

"I watched you fall asleep…maybe you have to be sleeping."

"That's stupid."

"I didn't make the rules," Regina replied with a chuckle. "All that crap about the dead being all knowledgeable is just that. Crap. I have no idea what I'm doing. I've yet to meet the apparent God or Devil and I wasn't surrounded by those close to me that died before me. Everything all the movies and books say is pure fiction."

Emma cracked a smile that warmed Regina's heart. "Good to know."

Regina couldn't contain herself any longer and pressed as close to her as possible, kissing her with all the passion she still felt, apologizing silently for everything going horribly wrong.

Emma melted into the kiss, making it last as long as possible. "I love you," she breathed when it broke.

"I love you, too." She looked into those beautiful eyes, loving the recognition she saw in them.

Soon fear flashed through them. "What if this is the only time I get to see you?" Emma panicked. "What if we're only allowed this one time because we have to say goodbye?"

Regina shook her head, wrapping her arms tightly around her. "I'm never saying goodbye to you, Emma Swan."

"Promise?"

Regina pressed a kiss to her shoulder. "Promise."


End file.
